WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
we made out on top of his cat.
I love having hate sex.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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