Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
