Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
