He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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