don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
