that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When did angry sex become our thing?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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