I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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