The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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