I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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