i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
