Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
