you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
