My friends, they love my intelligence
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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