Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
