some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
