And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize