will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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