help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
