She said her name was "party"
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
