You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize