I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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