I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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