I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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