You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
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