help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
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For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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