I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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