new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone owes me an orgasm
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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