Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
