never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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