Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
