You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
