it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
