Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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