I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
