Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
