your thong is hanging out like whoa
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Randomize