did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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