Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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