I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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