yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Two words: nipple clamps
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