You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
