That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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