dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
