My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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