You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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