If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize