So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
