he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
porn star boner night. come get it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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