walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
