trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
where am i from again
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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