Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
