I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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