just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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