I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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