i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
