If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
