I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
