Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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