xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
