I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i love accidental penises.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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