Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
