You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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