was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
