if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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