I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He has the fingertips of a God
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
